What to Do When Your Team Blames You

Fair or not, you need to work through the experience while keeping important relationships intact.

April src2, 2024

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When you’re a manager, at some point, regardless of how the circumstances arise, your team will blame you for something that’s making them unhappy, whether you have control over it or not. Being accused by your team of failing them in some way induces a threat state in your brain, impairing your ability to think clearly and triggering a variety of cognitive distortions and defensive behaviors. The authors offer several strategies to help you work through the experience while keeping important relationships intact.

Paul, an executive coaching client, reached out distraught, asking for guidance after a painful team meeting. During a routine project review, his employee, Elena, expressed concerns about the team’s heavy workload, exclaiming: “Six months ago we laid off more than half of the team, but you never reduced the workload the way you promised. We’re all working day and night, and you don’t seem to care.”

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Dina Denham Smith is an executive coach to senior leaders at world-leading brands such as Adobe, Netflix, PwC, Dropbox, Stripe, and numerous high-growth companies. A former business executive herself, she is the founder and CEO of Cognitas, and helps leaders and their teams reach new heights of success. Connect with her on LinkedIn.